hard heart melts

My mood was entirely different when I posted my last blog entry. Time really does change things slowly, unnoticeably; until you view the two time frames at the same time then you will realize how enormous things have changed.

Losing something you valued for quite some time is not easy to neither forget nor ignore. Especially when your whole life revolved around it, keeping your eyes closed to see anything else that is not part of it. How painful it is to lose it all in two minutes, throwing every smile, laughter, and memory that I felt, saw, and treasured.

The feeling may not be mutual, leaving you feeling everything opposite of what I am suffering. It doesn’t matter. Love is something that I give expecting nothing in return. I loved loving you and that was enough to keep me high for more than two years. That feeling alone that you gave me is more than enough to compensate of all the hurting I am feeling right now.

If I die today and choose how I will relive my life. I’d relive the days I had with you, happy or not…and change everything else.

You are loved. Hoping that you will remember that once in your lifetime someone loved you more than herself, finally realizing she is not hard-hearted, she was just waiting for the person worth of the heart melt.

~ by ayreen elque on June 22, 2009.