alsabalutan

•June 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

nagalsabalutan

sorry

hugs

kisses

foregiveness…

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hard heart melts

•June 22, 2009 • 3 Comments

My mood was entirely different when I posted my last blog entry. Time really does change things slowly, unnoticeably; until you view the two time frames at the same time then you will realize how enormous things have changed.

Losing something you valued for quite some time is not easy to neither forget nor ignore. Especially when your whole life revolved around it, keeping your eyes closed to see anything else that is not part of it. How painful it is to lose it all in two minutes, throwing every smile, laughter, and memory that I felt, saw, and treasured.

The feeling may not be mutual, leaving you feeling everything opposite of what I am suffering. It doesn’t matter. Love is something that I give expecting nothing in return. I loved loving you and that was enough to keep me high for more than two years. That feeling alone that you gave me is more than enough to compensate of all the hurting I am feeling right now.

If I die today and choose how I will relive my life. I’d relive the days I had with you, happy or not…and change everything else.

You are loved. Hoping that you will remember that once in your lifetime someone loved you more than herself, finally realizing she is not hard-hearted, she was just waiting for the person worth of the heart melt.

my balemtimes :)

•February 15, 2009 • 2 Comments

masaya naman ang valentines day ko, inasahan ko na magiging normal lang ang araw na ito dahil wala naman akong pinlano. nakalimutan ko nga na araw ng pagmamahalan kaya nagulat nalang ako ng pag gising ko, batiin ako ng halik ng taong mahal ko. awww! may ganon. gumaganon pako. panis na laway lang. natawa nalang ako dahil tunay talaga as in na nawala sa isip ko na valentines pala. napagod kase ako kagabi. (madumi ang isip mo) nagshopping kse kame, kaya napagod…whoohoo! super sale. pero ang totoo nyan, napagod talaga ako kagabi. basta. pumasok na cya sa trabaho, naiwan ako sa bahay kasama ang mga makukulit na kapatid at pinsan, kaya naglinis nalang ako ng kwarto at naligo. sakto pagtapos ko, nadatnan ko ang mahal ko sa bagong linis kong silid. (dumumi nanaman ang isip mo) may dala dala cyang isang rosas, pulang rosas na dali-dali kong isinabit para matuyo ng buong buo. kasama ng rosas ay isang kahong naka-balot…ayyy! digital frame. ang bagay na iniisip kong magkaroon ilang araw bago ang araw na ito. ang tamis lang. kinali-kalikot ko muna ito at nagbihis na ako. kumain kame sa labas ng tanghalian, sa turo turo, isang pinoy resto, “dalawang lechon silog po” nguya habang nanonood na “tik-tik-man mo ang kamo ang kamo” palabas ni pacyaw at ung basketbolista na bagets, basta sila un. un ang balentayms date namin. bwaahahah. umuwi kami sa bahay at bilang pasasalamat, kinuskos ang nakaririmarim nyang kuko. habang naghihilik cya. pagising nya para muling pumasok, ako naman ang natulog.

zzzzzz….zzzz.. nananaginip lang ako ng biglang may parang nagwawala sa labas ng pinto ko. kapatid ko pala. “ate, we’re going ooouuut!” nagulat lang ako at napasigaw ng shutap!! pero d nila ako tinigilan hanggat hindi ako nakakabangon sa pagkakahimlay ko. syet! nananaginip pa ako eh. nagbihis ako. nagpunta kame sa cheap shot enchanted kingdom bahrain version. pero sa sandaling andum kme ng sampu sa pamilya ko. nagenjoy naman ako. sa pagsakay sa roller coaster na asa ibabaw ng tubig at anchor’s away. un lang d ko na kaya ang stress. matapos kame kumain ng popcorn at magpaikot-ikot at magpikchur pikchur. kumain na kame sa dairy queen ang pinakamalapit sa liblib naming pinang-galingan. kumain tumira lang ako ng vanilla shake at ilang subo ng salad. kase nararamdaman ko lang na dapat di ako kumain dahil mukang lalakad kami ni sugar..aww sugar..baka ako langgamin.

at tamanga ang hinala ko, pag hatid ko sa bahay ng pamilya ko, andun c sugar, umalis kami at naghanap ng kakainan. at ang maswerteng establishementong un ay ang bam-bu resto. nagenjoy kame sa halangang BD13.800++ per head, mahal pero sulit eat all you can kase! bwahahah! eto ang listahan ng kinain namin.

Appetizers:

Prawn Toast
minched fresh prawn served on toast topped with sesame seed

Spring Roll
home made filled with fresh vegetables

Steamed Dumpling
home made dumpling filled with minched chicken & prawn

Prawn Tempura
Japanese style battered jumbo prawn

Shao Lum Pao
home made pork dumpling

Shao Mai
light steamed chicken & prawn dumpling

Minched Prawn Balls
home made minched, seasoned prawn balls, deep fried

Lions Head
home made minched pork balls, deep fried

Fried Wanton
home made chicken wanton, deep fried
Main Menu:

Oyster
pork

Sizzling Szechuan
beef

Tofu in Oyster sauce

Spicy Mixed Noodle
chicken, beef & prawn

Garlic Fried
Dessert:

Fried Ice Cream

—-

Alam ko parang patay guto lang. pero hanggang appetizer lang ang kinaya ko. tapos tumalon nako sa dessert. hindi ko na talaga kinaya kahit sabayan ko pa ng yosi ang pagnguya. mamamatay ako sa kabusugan. hinugasan ko yan ng isang basong pineapple juice habang si sugar? dalawang bote ng red wine. fucking drunk. ahahha. gigimik pa sana kami kaya lang, puno ang parking. syet. umuwi nalang kami at alam nyo na ang sumunod…at kahit alam kong eto na dapat maghari ang maduduming isip ninyo pero kinalulungkot ko, ang sumunod na pangyayari ay taliwas sa alam kong gusto nyong mabasa. bwahahah. sumuka lang naman si sugar, punyeta lang. excited pa naman ako. ahahah! kaya mas minabuti ko pang matulog at may pasok ako kinabukasan. ganon pa man, masaya ako at nakasama ko ang pamilya ko at ang mahal ko sa espesyal na araw na ito. happy balemtimes sa lahat! mwaaah!

P.S. Saka na ang pektyur. d pa nalilipat.

i was tagged by stayn…

•February 15, 2009 • Leave a Comment

USING ONLY ONE WORD! It’s not as easy as you might think! Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It’s really hard to only use one word answers. Be sure to tag the person you received it from!

1. Where is your cell phone? table

2. Your significant other? home

3. Your hair? brolk (brown nd black)

4. Your mother? home

5. Your father? sleeping

6. Your favorite? sleep

7. Your dream last night? nada

8. Your favorite drink? coffee

9. Your dream/goal? success

10. What room you are in? office

11. Your hobby? magpuyat

12. Your fear? falling

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? far away

14. Where were you last night? bambu

15. Something that you aren’t? sexy (syet)

16. Muffins? double chocolate (aww)

17. Wish list item? wii

18. Where you grew up? pasig

19. Last thing you did? drink

20. What are you wearing? blouse

21. Your TV? room

22. Your pets? wala

23. Friends? nagkalat

24. Your life? normal

25. Your mood? lazy

26. Missing someone? yes

27. Car? CRV

28. Something you’re not wearing? earrings

29. Your favorite store? wala

30. Your favorite color? black

33. When is the last time you laughed? kagabi

34. Last time you cried? last night

35. Who will resend this? ewan

36. One place that I go to over and over? CR

37. One person who emails me regularly? odesk

38. My favorite place to eat? ewan

—-

tried answering na 1 word lang..ang kinalabasan? jologs! ahahah 😛

im tagging anyone who read this. gud luck!

walang nangyari

•January 19, 2009 • 1 Comment

lumipas na ang kaarawan ko, pasko, at bagong taon. walang nangyari. stakap parin ako! pakinsyet..walang pagunlad. inaantok nako.

wtf?!

•November 30, 2008 • 4 Comments

**habang asa grocery

wtf: miss, miss san ka ngwowork?

me: ha? ah (ngiisip kilala ko ba ito) sa Balexco…

wtf: ahhh…sino kasama mo?

me: (taenang papansin to ah) asawa ko!! (sabay layas)
—-

***nagaantay ng magbubukas ng gate kse wala akong susi

arabong wtf: (lumapit) hi you want a ride

me: no!

arabong wtf: you want to come with me

me: No! (iritated)

arabong wtf: i will pay you

me: putangina ka, i dont need your money i have a good job

arabong wtf: its ok, you will have fun

me: N-O!! fuck it! go!

arabong wtf: walks away

*** taenang mga hayop na ito…andami ko na ngang dala dalang plastik…

an open letter

•November 17, 2008 • 1 Comment

Being an emo, I know, is natural. But I despise it. It brings too much drama in life that makes it no longer believable. But now I have come to realize that having an “emo time” is healthy. I need it badly, I wanted to poke my eyes so tears may drop, a single drop can maybe cause some of my emotional burdens to lighten, maybe.

I’m a person who never expresses feelings well, if ever I do, I do it with violence. I hit a person when I want to say “I care”, I pull their hair to say “You look fab today”, I pinch to say “I love you”. I’m not into mushy stuff, I loathe it, for me (again, for me) cheesiness, well more than normal of cheesiness, is not truthful, not believable.

“Happily ever after” does not exist, or maybe it does, but not to me. Excuse me for not being clear as to what I really want to blog or to say. Is it my emo-ness, bitterness, or just my plain heartache that I don’t know how to express?

Open letter….

To you,

I have loved you whole-heartedly, I gave you everything my heart can offer, and maybe more than what is necessary, more than what is reasonably acceptable. In many separate instances that I gave you up, one cold sorry is all I needed, to swallow my pride back. Now, I have this feeling that I can not understand. I’m trying to command my eyes to cry, my lips to scream, and my hands to fight. But now, the feeling is not anything alike, I just want to sit and think and (hopefully) cry. To at least ease, this feeling, the feeling that I couldn’t fathom, maybe no one could. Maybe I had enough tears cried, screams heard, and fights won. Now the non-identifiable thing part of me says enough, my heart argues and so is my brain.

Anytime, I may explode, due to my internal organs not working together. Taking different sides they do. That’s maybe the reason I am unaware of this feeling.

I gave you my all, my world, and me as a whole. I did those not expecting anything in return, or maybe I did but I shouldn’t. I could not ask you to return anything, not even half or a fraction of what I gave, it’s not tangible anyway. I’m sorry if all these were not enough, i already offered more than i should. I will understand if you try to find it somewhere or to someone who can present you what you need, what you want, that i lack of.

I will miss you if I decided to fully get rid of everything that we have. IF.

ayreen


P.S.

Like the line in the movie Kill Bill goes “Revenge is a dish that is best served cold”. I will get there my darling. You may not have returned any but surely I will take it all back plus interests.